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Posts Tagged ‘Bro. J’

1 Room, 2 Beds

It’s a new year and guess who started off the year by giving the first sermon of the year….Bro. J. But before he even got started with the “sermon” , Buddie and I were already laughing at Sis. Richards and her comments. I can already feel it, it’s going to be a great yesr.

Ms. Smith was doing the announcements and she mentioned the Message magazine. My mom told the people that the magazines came to the church because she didn’t have addresses to send them out to people. Sis. Richards replied, “I thought I gave you my addresses”, which my mom replied with a no. Sis. Richards then commented to herself, “I guess I’ll have to write it down next time so I won’t forget.” Now that was okay and me and Buddie thought nothing of it, but then she added, “then I’ll forget to read the note.” Buddie started laughing so hard.

That was just the kicker, then Bro. J came up and did his thing. I thought the sermon was going to be okay, but then he started talking about a woman at his house sleeping in his room, but in a different bed. We were like “what.” Sis. Richards said, “I didn’t know that.” And if that wasn’t enough, he started talking about raping and killing and gays.  We didn’t know what was going on. We are just sitting there in disbelief at what this man is saying and are totally shocked. I’m thinking this man is crazy, but that’s Bro. J. It is what it is.

This is how we start the decade off, weird, but in good spirits.

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Church was excellent today. Lately, at least for me, church has truly been a blessing and today was no different. Bro. J gave the sermon and he used a house to illustrate the sermon. He pointed out that just as a house must be built on a strong foundation with strong supports and materials, so shall our lives, specifically our spiritual body. He brought to my attention that the things we put in our body are the things will come out. Today I was reminded to always and constantly build up my spiritual body.

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Here We Go Again…

We are at church and I already know it’s gonna be one of those days where I am gonna need to stay focused or I’m gonna be lost and not be able to experience the power of the Lord speaking.

To start things off, we sing an unusual amount of songs in preparation for the elders to come out. Tell me how long could it possibly take to pray and give a scripture in that pastor’s office? Well, they finally emerge and the service proceeds. It’s time for the call to worship, doxology, affirmation of faith, and invocation. Wait, who is supposed to be doing the invocation? The audience looks on as the elders try to relay to another elder that he is to do the invocation and that time is now. Can we get this together, already?

Okay after that, things seem to be back on track, for the most part. UH, OH, spoke too soon. It’s time for pastoral remarks. I know I’m wrong for this, but I decide to time these remarks just to see how long they are gonna take. Reminder to self: Next week when I plan the service make sure the pastoral remarks are close to the end of service. Can you believe they took almost ten, count them 10, minutes. Okay can we move on, please?

I found out that the children don’t know who Satan is, but know who the devil is…teachable moment.

It is now for tithes and offering and guess who’s in charge of that part. Here we go again…and if you are wondering, yes it was messed up again, just not as bad.

After all of this, I am determined to get something out of the word. Thank God we had an excellent speaker today. I MUST invite him to speak at one of our youth day programs.

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Okay, when one thinks about going to church, sometimes you know what is to be expected, other times notsomuch.

Well, today was one of those hilarious days at church, for me anyway.
To start things off I thought it was going to be a bad day because I was feeling horrible, it was probably that sandwich that Mann made me, but by the time the preacher started I was ready.

Bro. J preached for us today. He is pretty good when he’s on point. But he got my funny bone aroused before he even began the sermon. He was to take up tithes and offering. Now keep in mind, we take up tithes and offering the EXACT same way EVERY sabbath. He approaches the podium and calls for the deacons to come forward to receive the morning’s tithes and offerings. He prays and then bursts out in song. WHAT? What is going on, doesn’t he know that song is AFTER the offering has been taken up? And to make the situation funnier, my dad stops him mid-song with “It’s not time for that now.” So after the offering is taken up, he is supposed to pray again to bless the money, but instead he insists that the deacon who has taken up the offering should be the one to pray. I am totally shocked and can no longer control myself. I’m laughing and Bro. J is eyeing me. Am I in trouble?

That little section was too funny.

After the debacle with the tithe and offering, Bro. J prepares to present the sermon and I have to say he was losing me until he started talking about his personal life and current issues that he’s dealing with. None of that was funny, but at one point I thought kind of inappropriate. Maybe it was just me, but all in all, church was good and I’m glad I attended.

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